Yes Matthew, Yes
An improvised sketch originally in S1E3 of The ManBuyCow Podcast, The Dinosaurs in the Garden. A really good bit of improv, with a great punchline and gets extra points for mentioning Dennis Quaid, but was cut for time as its rather long. Featuring Rufus as Matthew and Howard as the Dad. Transcript Matthew: Daddy? Dad: Yes. M : Remember when fluffy died? D: Yes Matthew, yes. M: And you said that he had gone to a better place. D: Yes I did say that, yes, yes. M: What did that mean? D: Well, erm, well you know how Mummy left that time and she hasn’t come back? M: Yes, and you’d said she’d gone to a better place. D: Yes M: What is this better place, where is it? D: You remember that time we went to Disney Land? M: Yes D: And you got to get your photograph taken with that large mouse. M: Yes D: Yes, it’s a bit like that M: You mean how like after the photo that big tree fell on the large mouse and he died? D: Yes Matthew, yes. Just like that. M: You mean Mummy’s dead? D: Yes Matthew, Mummy, Mummy’s dead. She’s gone to a better place. M: And so has fluffy? D: Fluffy’s there too. Mummy, the big mouse. And they’re all dancing together happy, singing songs about goats and eating cheese on toast. M: How can that mouse dance when its legs were crushed to a pulp? D: Because when you die, Matthew, erm, legs and arms and faces don’t mean anything anymore. Everything’s special in outer space. And we all go there and anything that’s ever hurt us in this life, that all goes away. So all those little boys who pick on you at school, they won’t be there, and you’ll get your trousers back from them. M: But Daddy, what about when those nasty boys, when they die, and they don’t got to outer space with me and Mummy and that big mouse and fluffy and Grandpa Jim. D: Yes, Yes, Yes, and the man from the shop around the corner. M: And my little sister. D: Well, jury’s out on that one, but yes, carry on. M: Well, if they don’t go to the same place, where do they go when they die? H: They go to Innerspace, with Dennis Quaid for being bad. But you’ve been so very good. You’ll get to see Mummy and Fluffy again and the big mouse. M: But if I’m bad I’ll have to spend the rest of eternity with Dennis Quaid. D: Yes, yes you will. So are you going to do your homework then? M: Yes, I think I will. I’d like to see Mummy and I’d like to see Grandpa Jim, and I’d like to see the man from the shop again. D: He sold really good sandwiches didn’t he? M: And he had that really weird thing growing on his face. D: That was quite funny wasn’t it? M: The Big pulsating thing that killed him. D: Yes M: I’d like to see that again D: That was called a parrot. M: Yes, Polly the pulsating parrot, I’d like to see her again.